In Medias Res #30- Holy Crap

Its May! How the hell did that happen? Honestly I didn't forget about you dear reader. Life took over. As it does.

So what happened? A wedding, multiple graduations, some crazy weather, and I almost got a puppy. I know, right?

Just be forewarned: this post has almost nothing to do with student affairs. Next time I'll do the big "Year One" breakdown. But for now, I just want to let you in on where I've been.

The wedding was fantastic. Saw lots of college friends who I don't see enough of. I got to see one of my best friends marry someone she loves. The ceremony was beautiful and even though I became the defacto organizer it was the most relaxing weekend I had in a long time.

Graduations- in student affairs- are pretty much par for the course. They were uneventful other than they were the first one I've experienced at my current institution. People can graduate in January here, they just can't walk. One of the things that they really do right here are the ceremonial aspects of things. We may be theatrical, but it's always to an end. I generally walk away impressed and inspired when we do something like commencement or convocation.

And..my neighbor's dog had puppies and I almost took one. I played with it for a half an hour, my allergies nearly killed me, and my neighbor refused to let me take it home. She was afraid I would suffocate in my apartment.

Have you all heard Robyn's album? I know it came out like two years ago in Europe, but damn it's capturing my mood at the moment. I've blogged about her before, but the album is actually available in the US so it seemed appropriate for her to make a return.

After a year in this job and this town I feel pretty comofortable. In comparison to this point in my graduate school career when I was climbing the walls and fighting off seasonal depression, things are marvelous. I will write a longer post either this week or next (maybe) reflecting on the year. I've learned alot as a professional, and I like to think that I've grown a bit too. Now though, I just want to sit back and bask in the 'holy fuck' reality that it is in fact May. MAY!

In Medias Res # 28- Shit's Good.

I took a week off. I know you have a hard time without me, dear reader, but as the semester winds down I needed the time away. Part of writing this blog every week means sitting down and actually reflecting on (as Macy Gray so eloquently put it) “How Life is”. I know as Student Affairs practitioners we’re supposed to be encouraging reflection, but I’ve been apartment hunting and the process of reflecting on whether I can live with or without a dishwasher is sufficiently taxing. (Verdict: I can not in fact live without a dishwasher).
Part of the reason I’m moving is the commute and part of it is how wildly I underestimated my living costs. I could be spending a lot more on rent, and therefore have quite a few more amenities in my apartment. With said amenities I would also enjoy my apartment more which will make the extra rent worth it. That said, I don’t have to move- my apartment is perfectly fine if not a bit small and a bit old. I will only move if I find a place that I really want to live.
So that’s what I’ve been doing. I have also been enjoying the spring weather. It is surprising-dear reader- how much the weather has an effect on my emotional well being. Friday here was ugly and rainy. Saturday in contrast was gorgeous and I found myself feeling quite a bit more positive and optimistic. It was a sea change of sorts. It has me looking forward to the rest of spring and the coming summer.
I was chatting with a friend this weekend as we were walking to an outdoor concert. He’s in the middle of a relationship dissolving that maybe quite wasn’t a relationship. Anyway, he needed to talk. We did, and as polite people in these situations do he proceeded to ask me about my love life. Which is non-existent a fact I remain pretty comfortable with.
As I get ready to finish my first year here I find myself becoming increasingly comfortable as a professional. I am comfortable in the place I live. I like my job. Things are good. I’m sure I will have more to write next week as there is a wedding coming up and I will have college friends in town. That will certainly make me reflect on what I’m doing, where I’ve been. All the stuff you love dear reader. Right now though? Shit’s good.

In Medias Res # 27- Sucks to Be You

Man, you think job searching sucks? Try being on the other side of the table. I thought it would be fun, dear reader. I thought it would be novel getting to do recruitment: being on the other side of the table, ushering candidates back to my expertly decorated table, asking the questions that I cared about. And it was novel. For about twenty minutes. Then it became an unbearable slog through mediocrity, grating personalities, and bad wardrobe choices. I should note that we saw lots of great candidates. We really did. People whose resume and responses made you want to reach across the table and hug them. I found myself flush when someone showed a spark of creativity or reflection. These candidates- and there were many- woke me up, got my head back in the game, and reminded me why I love student affairs.
Unfortunately these people were VASTLY outnumbered by the other sort of candidate. The people who were interviewing with us out of desperation rather than real interest or passion for the position. The individuals who were skipping around from job to job, clearly trying to keep their head above water in a field which had burned through them. There were the people who had gone straight through from undergrad to grad school but had failed to make that crucial learning transition between student and educator.
I do not like interviewing candidates, I do not like it Sam I am.

I want to get on my soap box here for a minute and speak to the graduate educators. Are you listening? Good. I like you all. At different points in my life I have thought I might even want to be you. But some of you? Some of you must be slacking a little bit. I know you can only do so much quality control. You can’t force a person to write a competent cover letter or think before they speak in an interview. Those of you who work at programs who prepare great candidates, you know who you are and you can probably tune out at this point. I hate to sound like a snob (wait, seriously? I hate to sound like a snob? This blog is pure snobbery!), but when the right program popped up on a resume the interview was almost always pleasant. And then there were the WTF programs which inevitably produced WTF candidates. I know this isn’t law school. It’s not as if our field is flush with young bright talent. But some of these programs? You should be ashamed of yourselves.

ACPA otherwise was fun, but sort of dead. Did anyone feel like this was a smaller conference than normal? I went to quite a few good sessions, and I came back to work pretty excited to get started again. This weekend the weather was beautiful so I went apartment hunting. Found some interesting things, but I’m not exactly ready to sign a lease. In large part if I’m going to move the place has to be perfect. The process of moving is a bitch and therefore this apartment must be absolutely perfect. Or as near as possible.

In Medias Res #26- Suit Up!

1. What the dapper gentleman wears for ACPA
I went suit shopping this weekend. This-I believe- is the first time I’ve ever gone suit shopping by myself. It is in fact one of the few times that I’ve gone shopping for clothes alone. I know I don’t have much in the way of taste or personal style. This is why I almost always bring someone else with me to shop. Initially I did do that. A coworker joined me for the first round-and ended up buying himself an overcoat- but for day two I went out on my own.
I needed a new suit for ACPA. I’m interviewing candidates for 4+ days. The alternatives were either: wear a sport coat one of the days or double up on a suit. This is what I ended up doing at placement last year (for the curious I wore a sport coat in lieu of doubling up). The whole time I was walking through placement, though, I felt underdressed.
The suit I bought is nice. It was on sale. It is a pretty uneventful suit. Clothes shopping, though, got me to thinking about professionalism. That word in the form of an outcome for improvement came up in my last performance review. I have had a rough transition between ‘grad’ school appropriate and work uniform. I know there are certainly days I come into the office with too much beard scruff, or an un-tucked shirt. I also know this is unacceptable.
Here’s the thing though: this job runs us all ragged. Something has to give for people. For some its their social life. They spend their nights and weekends at work and spend their free time preparing for work. I have a colleague like this. I could not live the way she does. For others its sleep or vacations. I give up ironing my pants. You may be wondering how ironing can be that time consuming. Well, I’m going to have you to simply accept the reality that doing laundry is a bitch. I hate it. With a passion.
The whole issue of ‘what to wear’ gets compounded by the fact that I have very few ‘dress’ clothes. Basically I own enough to get me through a week, however when you return to the same place week after week that’s not sufficient. So I know where my tax refund is going: Banana Republic (and their ilk)!
The irony? I actually really like wearing dress clothes. I think I look universally better in them, and I’m almost always more comfortable when I have to attend a meeting or visit with a colleague.
2. Recruiting
How very underwhelmed I am by the process of recruiting a new hire. Most of the resumes we get have no related experience, are vastly under qualified, or they have some glaring spelling or grammatical error. Now, I know I’m not prince dear reader. I misspell stuff all the time. But not on my resume! Not on the resume I posted to the placement site!
What has been most interesting about this phenomenon has been the ‘unexpected applicants’. These are either alumni of the institution who are now in student affairs or former colleagues and friends that the director who I am recruiting for (but do not work for, I should add) would like to see in the position. Most of these people? No real experience and to cap it off a lot of them have wildly erratic resumes. Were they not ‘known’ applicants or friends of friends they wouldn’t make it pass the first resume review. Quite a number of these applicants have less than a year experience at any institution they’ve worked at.
I know student affairs is hard. I know circumstances change. But when you’re making a lateral move after three months at one institution to a position at the same institution! And then you don’t even stay in that position a year? There are multiple applicants like this. The whole thing makes me uncomfortable, and its making me suspect of this colleague.
I have friends from grad school. I would love for them to live in this city (and believe me I’m lucky because two of them do). I would love more for them all to work at this institution. That’s never going to happen though. Because where I work is not a good fit for many of them. Hell, it’s a horrible fit for most of them! They would hate many of the very things I love about it. Case in point: I spent two hours yesterday in a faculty reading group. This is a professional expectation. They would also hate many of my colleagues, in some cases for the reason that I love them. Case in point: the colleague who made attending faculty reading groups an expectation.
Unfortunately there’s no good way about discouraging this director from pursuing these candidates. They can’t see the forest for the trees, and as such most of us will get stuck with a colleague who gets burned out after nine months. And then we get to do this process all over again (assuming they have the decency to tell us they’re searching-which given their current track record doesn’t seem likely).

In Medias Res # 25- You’re boring, baby, when you’re straight (Special Super Sized Video Packed Commemorative 25th Post)

Anybody else like The Kills? Not the Killers of “Somebody Told Me” fame. I have no real opinion on them one way or the other. The Kills are a two piece band that makes thudding bluesy rock music. They’re pretty awesome.
Anyways they released a new album this week which is spectacular. Their first album came out when I was a senior in college. I listened to it quite a bit on my ipod as graduation approached and so now whenever I dig it out of its case I’m immediately transported. The new album and the process of making a mix tape (I know, I’m dating myself. Who actually makes mix tapes anymore?) for the trip to ACPA has me nostalgic for music and its affect. I’m an album listener. I don’t single out specific tracks. I like to listen the whole way through. As such the nostalgia an album as a cohesive whole generates is pretty much correlated to specific times and places for me.
I was going to write this week about prepping for ACPA as an employer. Then I realized there’s another Thursday (which means another post) before ACPA starts. Instead I started thinking about coping mechanisms, and for me the most efficient and effective way to relax is to put on my headphones. I listened to a lot of music when I was job searching, and even now in my office I keep a constant drone on in the background. Part of this is because I’m in temporary space under a dance studio while my new office is built (and those hoofers make a lot of noise, I tell ya what). Still, I find it difficult to think without some ambient noise in the background.
I listened to all of these albums in whole or in part during the job search, and even now I still throw them on at work to get transported.


The New Pornographer’s Twin Cinema
This is not the best New Pornographer’s album. It might actually be their worst. Of course the worst New Pornographer’s album is like the least chocolate covered cherry. Fer chrissakes it’s still a chocolate covered cherry, and that’s pretty awesome. So why this album in particular especially given the majestic awesomeness of Mass Romantic and the Electric Version? Well, this album came out during my worst stretch of grad school, and as I drove around rushing from work, to class, to a tiny semblance of a social life I really just wanted someone to sing me Spanish techno.



Morrissey-You are the Quarry
Again, a least chocolate covered cherry album by an artist with much better work under his belt. And again, I spent a lot of time alone running around with this album in rotation on my i-pod. This album in particular, though, is about frustration. Frustration with friends, lovers, with your country and with other people. I was in college-although it was the summer- and I was interning at a crappy literary agency. I was reading horrible manuscripts, working for a jerk, and I was the only one of my friends who didn’t work nights. So I was up early every morning to get to work, and spending most of my weeknights crashing around 8pm. Morrissey and I were riding the same wavelength that summer. I still find myself listening to “First of the Gang to Die” when I need to get pumped up which is odd since its not a particularly ‘pumped up’ song.



The Magnetic Fields-69 Love Songs
Not everything I have a romantic attachment to is a result of a stressful period. This album is actually three discs long and its one of the many many things I share with my brother. Right after I got my first car (and installed a CD player) I somehow ended up with this album. I think-if memory serves correctly- this was given to me as a birthday gift. I can’t remember by who, though, and I wish I could because they obviously have fantastic taste. Whatever the case I ended up driving my younger brother around a lot. And we listened to this album a lot. And we both happen to like it. A lot. I got stuck in an airport in Denver because of snow last year and I listened to this album the whole way through. It made the time fly. When my brother came out to visit me at my new job we drove around town and this was our soundtrack.



Belle and Sebastian-Life Pursuit; Fountains of Wayne-Traffice and Weather; Welcome Interstate Managers
This was my job search album. I haven’t been able to listen to it since. Its a pretty good B&S album. Way more up tempo than the vast majority of their catalogue. This and the Fountains of Wayne albums Traffic and Weather and Welcome Interstate Managers are bleary sad albums about being a work professional. They’re really more suited to long journeys than multiple spins in the office. They are albums that make you appreciate the work we do. Just about every morning- even if I’m tired and cranky- I look forward to going to work. But these albums also hit home a little too much. Take the lyrics from FOW’s Someone to Love off of Traffic and Weather:

It's Thursday night she should be out on the scene

But she's sitting at home watching "The King of Queens"

There's something wrong that she can't describe

She takes the contacts out of her eyes

Sets the alarm for 6:45

So she can get a little exercise.

I’m not dying for somebody to love. But I did set my alarm yesterday so I could get up and jog while the weather is still nice. And I do like to catch an episode of ‘The King of Queens’



Sleater Kinney-Everything every by Sleater Kinney (The Hot Rock, Dig Me Out, All Hands on the Bad One, One Beat, The Woods)
Wow. Ok, Sleater Kinney makes me feel kind of old. Dig Me Out came out 11 years ago. Some of my students were in first grade. I’ve liked a lot of bands that have broken up. That’s nothing special. But Sleater Kinney got me through my adolescence. I play music in my office a lot. Some of the stuff (Elvis Costello, Pavement, even Ghostface Killah) I just expect is too old for my students. The fact that SK is no longer a band, and that for my students this stuff is no longer current (or even relevant) that makes me feel old. And for some weird reason that makes me feel happy. I love every one of these albums, but it is nice not to be a restless grouchy teenager now. There is something to be said for being a grown up, with a job, and responsibilities. I went to two concerts this week, and so I don’t feel like an old fogy yet. I can still stay up late with the Kids. But I did leave both shows by midnight cause I had work the next morning.



Joan as Police Woman-Real Life
According to my media player at work I have listened to Real Life by Joan as Police Woman more than any other album since I've been here. There's nothing especially distinct about the album. It definitely fits into that Fiona Apple, Feist, Yael Naim genre of white girl with a piano music that I tend to secretly enjoy. I can attribute some of this to having downloaded that album the week I started work. Still, there's something about the music that keeps drawing me back to it. I think with some space and distance I can figure out why exactly. Maybe with some time and space I'll figure it out.

I don’t really know what the point of this post was. Sometimes my mind just usually drifts (especially on Wednesday afternoons when I sit down to write these things) and I spew whatever I’m thinking about. As I’m getting ready to head to ACPA on the other side of the table (and actually attend a few sessions, may chance?) I can’t help but think that some other people are probably nervously fiddling with their i-pods. Do other people have job search music? Music that reminds them of a specific time and place? Like your first semester as a hall director? Or that alternative spring break you took students on? Is there a genre of music that predominates student affairs?

In medias res #24-Spring Break 2K8

That's right I'm kicking your ass hall director in the city. All over town. Ninja stylee. RESPECT.



I dated a guy freshman year of college who loved to ironically drop the phrase “Spring Break 2K2” into conversations leading up to the aforementioned event. This ex was a city kid and we attended a pretty urban non-traditional campus. Most of us-if we went on spring break- did service trips, and the rest just hung out in the city. My bf at the time though, was determined to have a good old fashioned spring break in the most ironic way possible. He and two friends drove down to a beach town, stayed in a ratty motel, and went to lots of bars with the words senor, froggy’s, slackers, and boomers in the name. They came back with sun kissed skin and overexposed photos. I had gone to build houses for Habitat for Humanity and didn’t feel particularly jealous. In fact I’m almost completely certain that I had more fun.
In grad school I usually worked through spring break. I lived too far away to go home, and especially last year I had too much on my plate to take that much time off. I did spent part of my spring break last year on a job interview, and managed to tack on a few days afterwards to visit some college friends. This year as spring break approached the only things I looked forward to would be getting out of here at five o’clock and the chance to catch up on some gestating projects. Over the weekend, though, a friend (and colleague) suggested that we recreate spring break on our own. Obviously we would have to go to work everyday, but in the evenings our students would be gone. The bars, restaurants, and fairgrounds of our fair burg would be ours! OURS!
So Monday night we went out. Tuesday night? Out. Wednesday? On the town! Tonight I’m going to a documentary screening so I don’t know if that counts, but tomorrow there is a raucous party on the docket. The only lowlight so far has been running into the whole remaining RA staff on Tuesday night at our local watering hole. I think our students took too much delight in seeing us outside of a campus setting and partaking of beverages no less! Other than that the main thing I’ve learned from this weekend is I will be happy to never go on spring break again. I love sleep and structure too much.
We’ve been talking a lot this week about wrapping the year up. It seems amazing to me that I’ve been here almost a year. I feel as if I’ve done nothing, and yet if I compare where my office was to August I’ve made some considerable progress. As I begin to plan for next year I’m admittedly having difficulty deciding on priorities. I feel as if I (and my supervisor) set the bar a little too low. There’s lots of personal goals I want to work on-specifically my level of professionalism- but in terms of the outcomes I identify I don’t want to set myself up to fail. Do people have this problem? I think a lot of it has to do with the vagueness of my position and the gray areas in which my office exists. I don’t want to set myself up to fail, but I definitely need to set the bar higher. If I don’t how am I growing as a professional?

Res. Life and the City #16- Past, Present, and Future

Can you get to a future if the past is present? ~Carrie


First, let's have a moment of silence for the amazing feat that was just accomplished by yours truly. TWO POSTS IN ONE DAY! Hooray! I must say that I am fairly proud of myself. Since I'm no longer taking classes, I've realized that I've started to create smaller senses of victory in my life. I've realized that there really isn't a comparable feeling to finishing a paper and hitting "print" in the professional world. Sure, you can finish a project or create a new proposal, but I really haven't had the same sense of accomplishment so I'm finding it through my blog. With that in mind, I popped in my "Paper Writing Mix: 2006-2007" with the intent of finishing this post today. In case you are wondering, it's a mixture of Billy Joel, Journey, and vintage Kelly Clarkson. Don't judge. It's what got me through grad school so it must have been doing something right!

Second, I started off writing my last post about the issue that I am going to address, but it somehow spiraled into an advice session for job candidates. Isn't it weird where your writing can take you sometimes? Anyway, I decided that I still needed to process some of my issues and what better way than through a global stage that literally dozens of people read on a semi-monthly basis?! Am I selling myself short? Perhaps...

Okay, let's get down to business, shall we? Like the quote from Sex and the City states can we ever get to our future if our past is present? (PS Countdown to the SATC movie: 84 days!) I could think of no better quote than this to describe the last week of my life. Let me set it up for you. I have a friend from grad school, let's call him "Sam" who I have become increasingly close with after graduation. Although he is still back home, we talk at minimum once a week for at least an hour per session. Clearly, we're close. Therefore, it seemed only natural to invite him to see my new fabulous (res) life over his spring break. I set up a ton of activities, lined up times for my new friends to meet and fall in love with him and actually took a week off of work to show him around my new life. While I know that I have a somewhat romanticized view of the world (I'm working on it), I really had high hopes for the visit. I thought that we would fall back into the same witty, back-and-forth banter that had been happening over the phone for the past 10 months, but it would be in person. What could be better, right?

Wrong. I...was...so...wrong! He arrived and it was like it was a different person in front of me. Everything that I found enjoyable about him over the phone and from grad school now became incredibly annoying and grating to my nerves. I kept looking at him and thinking to myself "This is not the person that I remember." The basis of all of our conversations was simply a re-telling of things that happened in our past and he didn't seem too excited about my new life or job or friends. Granted, he did make an effort to get to know my new friends, who also happen to be my collegues since I haven't gotten around to the whole "making friends off-campus" thing, but it was a stretch to make conversation. My friends could tell that I was really getting annoyed with him as the trip went on and (God bless them!) continued to offer to tag along to activities and attractions to be a buffer between the two of us.

By the end of the trip, I was really ready for him to leave which actually came as a surprise, even to me. I am a somewhat, okay who am I kidding, really emotional person and don't deal with goodbyes in the most mature fashion (ie I bawl my eyes out), but when we said goodbye at the airport, it was like I was shipping off an acquaintance that I barely knew instead of someone that I had grown close to and had known for a year and a half. There was little to no emotional attachment anymore and at the time, I didn't really understand why.

However, since my grad school professors drilled the importance of reflection in my brain, I took some time to process with my friends and finally came to a conclusion. I didn't enjoy my time with Sam because he represented my past and I am fulling living my present and future. I wasn't really interested in rehashing old stories or memories from grad school when I could be making new memories now. I can honestly say that I have changed and grown a lot just in the few months that I have been away from home and I don't want to go back to many of the habits and quirks that dogged me in grad school. I think I have become much more self-sufficient and confident in my abilities in both a personal and professional capacity. I think I am more self-centered and I find myself looking from within for validation before looking to others and I honestly don't want to go back to the old me.

In conclusion, I am glad that Sam visited if for no other reason than it made me appreciate my new life, job, and friends even more than I already did. It was so nice to have friends that I could turn to for emotional support instead of always having others turn to me. I realized that I am so much happier in my new job than I was with my job in grad school and also that my old institution pales in comparison to my new one. Basically, Sam's annoying, cloying, and overbearingly awful visit helped me really be thankful for my new life, so thanks Sam!