Sunday, January 13, 2008

Res. Life and the City #12: Facilitated Friendships

Carrie: Hey, I don't need therapy. I need new friends!
Samantha: Look, we're as messed up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind.


Well, I'm back to it. Our buildings opened last weekend and I have just finished my first week of the Spring semester. It's nice to know that I have survived the fall, but similiarly to In Media Res' post, Spring semester is a totally different monster. I was advised by my supervisor to request committees and assignments that are Fall semester-loaded since I was immediately put on the professional selection committee which has all of their work in the Spring. Somehow, the committees I was placed on were "in theory" doing most of their work in the Fall, but due to certain circumstances and a general lack of leadership, all of the projects just got shoved into the Spring semester. What does this mean? Well, I think this semester will be a true test of my worth.

I remember going through the selection process last year and as exhausting as it was from the candidate side, I can only imagine how difficult it will be to be on the other end. The volume of candidate's resumes to review, reference calls to make, and telephone interviews to conduct are all staggering to me. I can only hope that my RAs are must more self-sufficient this semester. I think, correction: hope I have taught them well, but you never really know until you let them try and do everything themselves. To say the least, it should be interesting.

This anticipated marathon of stress brings me to my next topic: professional friendships. It was recently brought to my attention that I am in a "clique" and therefore put out an air of exclusivity in terms of my collegues. While we all know that Res. Life is must more relationship-focused than other functional areas, it really made me start thinking about what, if any, obligation live-in staff members have to be "friends" with their co-workers. Obviously, there are going to be people that you connect with more than others, but does this mean that you must always make a conscious effort to reach out to others who aren't in your self-selected group of friends who are also your collegues?

I'm really struggling with this idea. There is a part of me that says my friends are my personal life and therefore I have no obligation to do any of this reaching out nonsense. If I don't particularly like someone and don't click with them on a personal level, I don't think I should force a relationship. On the other hand, is this hypocritical for me to say given what I try to teach my students and staff members about making sure those in their community are not marginalized? Also, it is silly for me to think that my personal friendships will not bleed over into my professional interactions. Obviously, if you know a collegue on a personal level, it makes it easier to ask them for favors, ask them to join you with projects or presentations, or just call to vent about job-realted issues. Is this appropriate or does this put other professional realtionships into jeopardy when the same personal connection has not been made? The cynic in me just wants to tell people "I don't have to be friends with you. I just have to work with you," but is this statement even possible for those of us with live-in jobs? We all visit the same eateries (on campus), go to the same events (on-campus of course), and share the same professional experiences (within our halls).

What do you think?

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