In Medias Res #22- Certainty, or I know I just want to D.A.N.C.E.

I have been talking a lot lately about summer internships with students. This might seem early to some people-especially since I don’t work in Career Services- but when you work with high achievers nothing is too early. In fact, these conversations were precipitated by the fact that more than a handful of my students already have internships.

One of the things that struck me about these conversations was how much waffling my students do. They are an uncertain lot, and every time a decision needs to be made they feel the need to unpack and deconstruct it. Normally this is a behavioral quirk I love. I once spent three hours with one group’s executive board as they debated their constitution. The question at play was how broad and expansive to be in their description of the target population and in their goals regarding working towards justice and equality. (I know I’m being vague, but this is supposed to be an anonymous blog. Stay with me here). It was-by far- one of the most professional rewarding conversations I’ve had post grad school.

Of course, I don’t find this behavior surprising. College students should be uncertain. They should be exploring and questioning (especially my students). I remember this behavior in myself at the same age, although given my ENTJ nature it resulted in me applying for every internship that interested me. Rather than weighing my options and proceeding cautiously as my students are doing. The things that I find remarkable is that much of this uncertainty I no longer feel.

When did that happen? I’ve always had five year plans, but my five year plans are notorious (at least in my own mind) for being open source: subject to much revision and recycling. Now, though, I know not only where I’ll be for the next year (here for those readers waiting in suspense), but where I could potentially be for the next few years. I was speaking with a volunteer coordinator at an organization I’ve been working with in my spare time. We were chatting, and she asked if I was new to town. I started to say yes, but then admitted that in fact I had lived here for eight months. Not exactly new although to someone like her who has lived here for 40+ years I certainly seemed like a newbie.

I find myself intentionally trying to set down roots here. In addition to looking for a new apartment I’ve been exploring places of worship and chances to get involved with young professionals outside of work. I know I won’t be here forever. A better job or a Phd program will eventually take me away so its not as if I’m living an ambiguity free life. But I do feel somewhat more certain about some major life decisions, and that’s a nice place to be.